Sunday, May 31, 2009
Posted by -H-

she just looks so hot, sexy and comfortable and on control.
like she owns the world.
plus i have pretty similar hair so if i could lose like 25ibs i could look somethin like her. but never as perfect.

Posted by -H-

You can say i am messed up.
I have no idea do i have some kind of ED or not.
one thing i know that i have some serious food and body issues.
i am a bit ana and a bit mia and some bringe eating and some days i am a healthy normal girl who eats healthy amount of good foods.

some days i feel like a total cow and some days i look Ok but never perfect or hot or beautiful.
so might say it is a teen problem but i am 18 and i want to be hot and sexy and the girl that every boy wants.

So i will post my stats here

Height: 5 feet 5 inches (166cm)

Current/start weight: 134 pounds (61kg)
Low weight(last september): 110 pounds (50kg)

Ultimate goal weight: 112 pounds (51 kg)

So i have no idea how much i can loose in a month so if anyone has any sugestions i would be greateful for them.
I was so skinny last fall and i want to be that again. in the winter time it was cold and i just ate too much and now i want to lose it all.
I also started purging after i had bringed a few months ago. but the bringe eati ng has never been so big and now i do it so often that it effects my weight so much.
if i look myselg from the mirror i just see fat and fat and more FAT.
i hate it. it is summer and i am a fat cow. but really i cant plame noone else than me.
too much eating and too little exercising.
I am open to ides how to lose some weight.
i have periouds when i just hate food so much that i cant even toch it but other times i just open the fridge and eat everything in sight. i need i desire something but no matter how much i eat i will not get that feeling that i have the thing what i wanted. if you know what i mean. i need someone who would hold me and make me feel good about myself.
i want to look myself and really and truly say that i love the way i look like.
i dont know what to do to get over it. i hate my reflection in the mirror i just cant handle it.
i need some help. and fast before i will we an overweight hippo.

so help.

have some questions...
how much i should eat daly to lose.?
what is the most effective exersice?
How much i could lose in a month?

Some might say that i am a wannabe and i dont argue with you...
I will lose this weight and then i will start eating as normaly as possible and will stay 51-52 kg.
i will be happy there i know i will. and i will look good because now if i look at the pictures when i was 50 kg i look fucking fantastic and i want to be that again.
I need to be that again to feel good about myself.