Sunday, May 31, 2009
Posted by -H-

You can say i am messed up.
I have no idea do i have some kind of ED or not.
one thing i know that i have some serious food and body issues.
i am a bit ana and a bit mia and some bringe eating and some days i am a healthy normal girl who eats healthy amount of good foods.

some days i feel like a total cow and some days i look Ok but never perfect or hot or beautiful.
so might say it is a teen problem but i am 18 and i want to be hot and sexy and the girl that every boy wants.

So i will post my stats here

Height: 5 feet 5 inches (166cm)

Current/start weight: 134 pounds (61kg)
Low weight(last september): 110 pounds (50kg)

Ultimate goal weight: 112 pounds (51 kg)
BMI:18.5

So i have no idea how much i can loose in a month so if anyone has any sugestions i would be greateful for them.
I was so skinny last fall and i want to be that again. in the winter time it was cold and i just ate too much and now i want to lose it all.
I also started purging after i had bringed a few months ago. but the bringe eati ng has never been so big and now i do it so often that it effects my weight so much.
if i look myselg from the mirror i just see fat and fat and more FAT.
i hate it. it is summer and i am a fat cow. but really i cant plame noone else than me.
too much eating and too little exercising.
I am open to ides how to lose some weight.
i have periouds when i just hate food so much that i cant even toch it but other times i just open the fridge and eat everything in sight. i need i desire something but no matter how much i eat i will not get that feeling that i have the thing what i wanted. if you know what i mean. i need someone who would hold me and make me feel good about myself.
i want to look myself and really and truly say that i love the way i look like.
i dont know what to do to get over it. i hate my reflection in the mirror i just cant handle it.
i need some help. and fast before i will we an overweight hippo.

so help.

have some questions...
how much i should eat daly to lose.?
what is the most effective exersice?
How much i could lose in a month?

Some might say that i am a wannabe and i dont argue with you...
I will lose this weight and then i will start eating as normaly as possible and will stay 51-52 kg.
i will be happy there i know i will. and i will look good because now if i look at the pictures when i was 50 kg i look fucking fantastic and i want to be that again.
I need to be that again to feel good about myself.
oH WHY I DID LET MYSELF GAIN SO MUCH WEIGHT: WHY?????

2 comments:

trip_trip_trip said...

A good way to start is the Master Cleanse. It will help from your body going into "starvation mode" which will make you GAIN weight. If you want to lose weight at a good pace, EXERCISE. Don't just start running because you will hurt yourself. Start with a nice long walk. I go to the gym for about an hour a day and I take it pretty easy. You just want to keep your heart rate up for over an hour. Stretching helps, try some pilates. Make sure you drink plenty of water and stay positive!

wtbs said...

thanks for your positive comment.
i am trying that Master Cleanse 6-11 of June. Hope i can do that.
also i am going to start running.what do you think how many times a week would be good at the beginning?
also i have a very active waitress job...