Hunt for perfection....

I dont know what to think.
Yesterday i tryed on my jeans what i bought last year when i was way skinny. i didnt try then on earlyer because i was afraid that they would not fit me anymore and well i was right. I AM SUCH A FAT-IDIOT.
So i went shopping because i needed some jeand when i got home i found out that the jeans i had bought where the same size as the ones i had allready. SO WTF?

I has a small bringe last night. really hate myself. havent had any food today.
soon i will meet up with my good friend so i have to eat then. fucking great. i cant i just stop myself from eating.??...

I have spent so much money on clothes and shoues this week. i just have to stop it. but well when xs jumppert fitted me so nicely i juat had to buy it. and also i found a sexy bikini and some hot purple high heeled shoes and also the jeans what look wonderfool with the shoes.
i hope that i will earn the money back from tips i cet from custumers. i really hope so. normaly i am not such a shoppaholic because usually i donat find nice clothes what would fitt me well

i want my geography exam results. it is driving me crazy.

I fucking have to start working-out but i just cant get myself to start the first steps. and i need new treiners because the old ones are worn out.
i net to get working on my abs because at the momant ther are no abs just a hole lot of fat.

omg a really fat person just sat next to me. i hate this public internet place. there are like sex more persons here with me
FAt person- who is reading... i cant believe it a cooking site... well got luck with that. and well i might say if you are fat dont fucking wher clothes what are to small for you because i can see all the flabby fat you have on you and well it is just discusting.
Hot guy- there is on hot guy here to but unfortunatly i cant see on what website he is on. she has dark hair and seems taht he works out a lot. god if he would be my bf i woul filp out.
some computer nerd- classes, a gardican, washed jeans to long and not werry clen hair and well just looks that he has spen to much time infront of the computen and to little with actualy people. but well on good point is that he is like skinny(if you can say that to a boy) i have never figured it out. they sit behind the computer all day, eat fast food and still have only bones and skinn. whay cant i have that fast metabolism...

And i really need to get a boyfriend i so miss that feeling when someone is holding you and you smell ther afterhave and well...
where the hell i can meet some guys? have any sugestions... i am miserable...