Monday, July 20, 2009

Day 11: Complete Failure

Posted by -H-

Ate probably like 3000cls,
i reached home after a nightmare driving lesson just to find out that my internet was out so i was home alone and nothing to do but to eat... so i ate...also my period is fucking me up...
but after i had eaten i just needed to do something so i went cycling for 2 hours that burned like 800clas i know that is so littel for the massive amount of food i ate but at least i didnt just sit on my bed and mope, i did something

but i just feel such a failure...i failed myself and you all and well i just dont...
i know that food will not fill the emtyness in my soul but i still try to stuff it with food...

i am thinking of fasting ... i havent never fasted... i have tried but it usually ended with a total binge...
but if i have net tomorrow i hope i can do it...anyone want to join me feel free to... maybe i will do even a two day fast if i can...
and also i am going to weigh myself... i have to see that BIG number so i can kick my but and start over again...

And i love all your comments... i just fish i had my net when i got home that i would not have binged probably after reading all you lovely comments... i feel i failed you and mayself...

We will see what the scale says tomorrow...

sry for being allover the place with my text i am just so off and unhappy about my food intake... i cant even purge i have tryed it a few times but i cant get much up and for the little i get up i have to work for a lot... and also i dont like to purge... so i dont... so i consume evey calorie i eat... fuck

so i need to keep myself busy tomorrow when i am fasting... what the hell i am going to do that 17hours when i am awake...??+...

IN: have no idea but i will say 3000

Out: cycling -800 2hours

1 comments:

Dot said...

You haven't failed us! It's just one mistake, and at least you worked out really hard! Don't beat yourself up too much over it. It's important to be positive. I think fasting is a great idea! I'm fasting today. Maybe you could do a liquids fast tomorrow to ease yourself into fasting and then do a real fast the next day?
Good luck and stay strong ,3