Tuesday, August 18, 2009

want to curl up and die

Posted by -H-

so i didn't have any Internet access last week so i could not write what is probably a good thing because i would have been only miserable and depressing posts. i think i have never been so numb in my entire life... i dont care how i look or what i do. i just exist.
i have put on a lot of weight these last days, i am avoiding the SCALE because i dont want to see the number on it.
every day i wake up and think : ok today i will be good and then the hours go and go and in some point i take a bite and then another and then i am on full binge mode

i am not happy, i dont enjoy life like i did, i am tyred, depressed and so sad all the time....
i have a good life...i man it is not perfect but well i have a good home and great friends and i am smart but somehow i just cant enjoy it. i feel that something is missing....

i have to do my driving exam but i just keep avoiding it and postpone all the appointments. i just dont care- NUMB....

NUMB numb NUMB numb

i should just stop writing because all i do is depress you too...

BTW THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL YOUR COMMENTS TO MY LAST POST. THEY WHERE LOVELY AND MAYBE I CAN NOW PICK UP THE PIECES AND CLUE THEM BACK TOGETHER

school starts in 13 days and i am a fat cow... i dont want to go to school looking like a fat cow.... but well i think i have no other choice.

3 comments:

Kevin Atteridg said...

Well, sometimes there may feel like something missing in life, and that just means that you have to search for that missing piece. It may seem tough, but you are strong, and maybe when you least expect it, you will find it with ease.

Ana's Girl said...

Aww. I hate numbness. Be happy, hunny, but don't stop posting even if you're not. Maybe you can sort things out by posting.

Dot said...

I'm so glad you're back! :D I was seriously starting to worry : /
I'm so sorry you are feeling down though darling : ( <3
And I'm sure you can lose weight before school starts <3 You are strong and can do this!
Good luck and stay strong beautiful <3